00:08 Hi, I am Denise Simpson, a master life and leadership coach who helps women step into their authentic and feminine power so they can lead like visionaries, influence with grace, and create a legacy of contribution and service. You'll hear about real leadership clients with real problems navigating their success in life, business and career. If you're ready to become a masterful leader, then this podcast was made for you. So let's get
00:37 Started.
00:46 Hey, leader. So excited to talk about the path of least resistance, the path of least resistance for some of us, that sounds so ridiculous, right? Because everything we do as leaders, we are faced with opposition. We're faced with pushing and pulling and wrangling and throwing it to the ground, clawing our way up, all the things. There's a lot of force, a lot of negative force sometimes in leadership. And the path of least resistance is the opposite. It is the path we intentionally choose to take when we don't want to keep fighting, when we don't want to keep pushing and pulling and forcing things into action and manipulating things into action. And that also looks like the path of least resistance in our minds, right? Because we see sometimes our actions and behaviors as forceful because we are women in leadership, sometimes we are disrespected, we are undervalued, we are undermined, we are not taken very seriously.01:55 So sometimes we feel like we have to force our way through the door or in the boardroom or wherever we are forcing ourselves in because nobody's inviting us in. So that's the energy a lot of us bring to our leadership practice. And so the path of least resistance is the complete opposite. It's letting go of the reigns. It's saying, that's okay. I don't need to struggle anymore. I'd rather do this instead. I'd rather feel peace and calm and maybe some joy in the process. Gosh, I would love some joy in the process, but I know what I don't want, and that is to keep struggling and to keep being forceful in the way I lead. And the path of least resistance is a concept that I learned through the teachings of Abraham Hicks. If you don't know who they are, you're going to want to Google them as soon as possible.02:54 I was introduced to the teachings when I was 18 at a Barnes and Nobles bookstore. I was 18 years old, had just left my hometown to enroll in a public university, U t Ss a University of Texas at San Antonio. And I found myself questioning my relationship to God. What was my relationship with him? Why should I keep practicing Catholicism if my parents aren't telling me I have to? What does my relationship really mean with him and the Bible? And during that time, I was really questioning so much about what I was ingrained with or embedded with. And I was young, didn't know what my parents were wanting to do and wanting to instill. And I was in a rebellious stage and wanted to figure things out on my own. And I did. I did. Obviously, I'm in my forties now. We figured things out.03:57 We did. We did a good job. But at that time, I was looking for answers to my questions and stumbled upon this book. It's in the new age section at the Barnes and Nobles, right there at Ebner Oaks off of I 10 in San Antonio, Texas, and fell in love with the teachings of Abraham. It aligned with my Catholic roots, with what my parents instilled in me, but it made it lighter and it made it more within my control. I felt like I had agency over my mind and over the relationship I wanted to have with source or God and the relationship I want to have in this universe with my fellow inhabitants. So these teachings have really aligned with me, and I still use them today. And the path of least resistance is something that Abraham Hicks talks about, and it's really about letting go of those reigns.05:01 It's about saying, I'm going to focus on my point of attraction, my point of intention, as opposed to what anyone else is going to do with their lives. I can't control what they believe or think about me or their behaviors towards me. I can't focus on that. I'm only responsible for me for my point of attraction. But they believe is the universe is attraction based, and it's not assertion based. It's not forcing your way into relationships and into corporate America and into a business you don't force yourself. It's not the law of assertion. It's a law of attraction. Okay, I know some of you're rolling your eyes at me. I get it. I just said the law of attraction. Yes, I said it. Listen, I am a scientist and I do believe quantum physics and I do study it, and we talk a whole lot about attraction, and we talk a whole lot about assertion in quantum physics.06:07 And so something that really resonated with my brain and my heart are these teachings of Abraham because it's an alignment with not only my faith-based side of my heart, but also the spiritual side of my heart and my scientist's brain. So it's like this trilogy coming together. And so I like to incorporate this into my coaching, into my trainings, and yes, into my curriculum. It's part of who I am and it's part of what I teach, and it's exciting for me, and it just really, really fires me up. And so this is something I wanted to share with you today, this idea, this concept of the path of least resistance, and what does it actually look like in real life? Because we can talk about theory all day, but if it doesn't work in your life, this is not pragmatic. And so I want to give you some examples of what I mean by the path of least resistance.07:02 So I have a client who's exceptional, exceptional in every way. She's masterful. She's been in her industry for a very long time. She is an expert, and there's something new that has come up for her that she is lacking, and there's a gap in a certain skillset. And the skillset is something that's going to take some time to build. It's like a muscle, right? You just don't go into the gym and pick up a 50 pound dumbbell. No, you're going to take some time to start with the five pound and then the 10, and then the 12, and then the 15, and then the 20, and then the 25 and the 30 and so forth. So it takes some time. And that looks like building new neuros synapses in your brain. It looks like repetition. It looks like being deliberate and conscious so that you don't default back to the unconscious level of your mind.07:51 And so there are things that she needs to do right now. And so she's in a very uncomfortable zone, very uncomfortable time in her leadership practice. She says, why can't this be easy? I know this. I'm an expert in this. Why is this so hard for me to learn? And those questions that her brain is presenting her with is actually causing more resistance to learning something new, which is taking longer for her to learn this new skillset. And so I said, why aren't we taking the path of least resistance? And she said, what does that mean? It means foregoing or suspending your beliefs about how you should know everything. And instead going through the motion, the process of learning something new and just maybe you'll enjoy this new learning process. And she said, what you mean I'm causing more harm? I'm causing more resistance. You mean if I just suspend what I believe to be true?08:58 Just for a minute here, this could actually be an easier process. I said, why don't we try that? I laugh because it's exactly what I had to do in my PhD process through my doctoral journey. It was madness. And I said, enough with the madness. Stop resisting this work. Stop resisting this new identity. Stop resisting this pain. It is. It's a sacrifice. And I had to just let go of the reigns and trust the process because millions of people have gone before me and have gotten a PhD. And I said, they did it and I can do it too. And so I shared with her my journey of letting go of the reigns and taking the path of least resistance. And she said, okay, I think I can try to do that. And I said, at any time you feel opposition in your body, resistance in your body, something telling you No, no, that shouldn't be this way or it must be this way.10:00 Instead, I want for you to take a moment and ask yourself, is that the path of least resistance? Do I want to take it right now or do I want to keep struggling? And so it's just a mindset reframe. Anytime you are resisting to do work, and this also looks a lot like procrastination. A lot of us leaders are perfectionists. We want to have everything perfect because we don't want to be judged and we don't want to be critiqued, and it might as well be perfect at the onset. And because it needs to be perfect, a lot of us will take some time and we procrastinate in our brain and in our bodies, and we don't want to take action. And so procrastination is really resisting. There's a lot of opposition there. And so when you let go of the need to be perfect, for those of you who are perfectionist, take a look at your procrastination habits.11:00 Do you take longer to start a project and finish a project? Then the average person who does B minus work, because perfectionism and procrastination go hand in hand. They're kind of buddies. It's like peanut butter and jelly. Listen, my friend, I know this because I am a former perfectionist. Yes, and I would procrastinate starting all my projects and forget ending them. Sometimes I couldn't even follow through with a project because I was so focused on the details being perfect. So I'm with you, my friend. It is exhausting. And I have now taken the path of least resistance, and I do B minus work. And guess what? My B minus work is a plus work for the average person. And I bet, dear leader, it is the same for you. So please take the path of least resistance with me. Now, I want to share with you another example, something very personal to me.11:58 It is this need of being right, and I want for you to take the path of least resistance with me and let go of needing to be right. Listen, I even have a mug that says I may be wrong, but I doubt it. I seriously have a coffee mug that says that. That's how crazy I am. Listen, the need to be right is really exhausting. There's so much impeding force and energy that goes into needing to be right, because what does that look like when you feel the need to be right? You have to defend yourself all the time. You have to challenge the other person all the time. You have to go and research and look at facts and then come back later and serve somebody with it. You are always in opposition. You are always needing to defend who you are. That is exhausting.12:56 And that my dear leader is not the path of least resistance. So I had to learn to let go of needing to be right. And I know exactly where it started for me. See, I was one of three girls. I am the middle child of three girls. And I had an older sister who was super brilliant. I mean, still is super smart, incredible in math. She was just like the star of everything. And then I had a baby sister who was the cutest, the cutest, super, pretty gorgeous, whatever. And I was right in the middle, and I felt in my youth that I was always wrong, that I always had to defend myself just to be heard in my family, just to be noticed in my family. And I found that that was a way to get attention, was to be smarter, was to come back with quick comments, with snarky comments, with facts and figures to disprove somebody.13:57 I felt that was my superpower. And it's something that I carried really into my leadership practice, which was really debilitating for my employees and myself. And it's something I had to relearn. I had to deprogram to reprogram, to not feel the need to be right all the time. And so that's the path of least resistance that I'm on. And even though I have that stupid mug, I bought it because it's a past self. It's a past identity of who I was, and it makes me chuckle, and it makes me laugh today. But if you are someone who is needing to be right because you have been told that you were right, or because you've been told that you're so brilliant or because you've had to defend yourself, please, dear leader, find a way to take the path of least resistance. Who cares? Who cares? It's like pick your battles moving forward.14:52 That's the path of least resistance I take. It's like that's not worth arguing anymore. I don't really care to argue that. And yeah, you're an idiot and you actually got your stats wrong and your facts wrong, but I'm just not even going to bother because I'm taking the path of least resistance. And guess what? I don't lose sleep over that kind of shit anymore. I used to. It's like, oh, I should have said this, or should have come back with this. Or, gosh, now I've got the facts in front of me and I want to email them and tell them that they're dumb. It's over for me. Now, the path of least resistance looks like zero impeding forces zero opposition, zero negative energy. I can't control anyone outside of my brain. And so what I want to do is spend time finding ways, more valuable ways that I can find joy and happiness and fulfillment in my success and in my achievements instead of having to defend myself, instead of worrying about what other people think about me instead of resisting learning something new. The path of least resistance, my dear leader, looks very different than the path you may be on right now. All right, dear leader, I hope you found today's episode so helpful. It's so good to talk about the path of least resistance and where I got this idea from and how it has impacted my leadership practice and how I help my clients implement this in their life and leadership practice. I am wishing you the path of least resistance in everything you do. Take good care. Talk to you soon.16:33 Hey, leader, do you want weekly leadership tips, coaching and training straight to your email inbox? Yeah, I thought so. Head over to dr denise simpson.com/leadership. Again, that's dr denise simpson.com/leadership. Just submit your name and your email address and we'll get started right away. I look forward to serving you inside your email inbox. See you soon.
