00:08 Hi, I'm Denise Simpson, a master life and leadership coach who helps women step into their authentic and feminine power. So they can lead like visionaries influence with grace and create a legacy of contribution and service. You'll hear about real leadership clients with real problems, navigating their success in life, business, and career. If you're ready to become a masterful leader, then this podcast was made for you. So let's get started.
00:46 Welcome back leader. I am happy you are here. I'm going to talk about how to get over. Being afraid to identify as a leader. So you're probably one of two people. You're either number one, a leader already listening to this podcast. You are in leadership, you are excited about leadership. You have answered that calling the calling to lead and to serve. So you may have gotten over this fear, right? This fear of being seen as a leader, or to identify as one, right? That could have been an experience for you in your past. And now you are here fully embracing the identity of a leader, right? That could be you, or you could be an aspirational or an emerging leader right now. And you are afraid to be seen as domineering, to be seen as different even maybe fear of being seen as unqualified, because you are a newer leader or an aspirational leader.
01:50 So wherever you are on your path to leadership, either you are currently a leader and you've gone through this already, and you've overcome this challenge, or number two, you are aspiring or emerging and you are still reluctant or are reluctant to take on any leadership opportunities. You have that calling in you. You're aspiring, you're excited, but there's so many other thoughts and emotions that are coming up for you, as you think about identifying as a leader. So wherever you are on this path, this episode is for you. Here's why, if you are already an established leader, I want for you to think of the people on your team, the people in your department, the people you lead right now, have you identified someone with high potential, someone that you believe has the potential has the capability to be a great manager, a great director, a great supervisor, maybe even a peer leader, right?
02:57 There's somebody that you may have identified, who is fearful of stepping into this new identity of a leader. You may have spoken to this individual. You may be mentoring this individual along with leading this individual. And they have expressed concern about being a leader and concerns range from this is not worth the money to, I'm afraid to be seen and to be heard, right? There's so many, uh, variations. There is a, a big spectrum of thoughts and emotions that are keeping highly potential high capable people from stepping into leadership. So if you are in that boat where you have identified someone, then you have got to stay tuned. Here. You have got to stay locked into this episode because you are responsible for helping them break through those fears. Break through that, that limiting those limiting minds mindset, beliefs, right? You are here to help inspire or influence a change in their behavior.
04:07 That's what we do as leaders. And that's what you're going to do. If you have identified someone on your team that is reluctant to take on a leadership role, I'm bringing this particular subject up because it is our responsibility. All of us, as a collective, as women leaders, to help other women in our organizations or in our communities or constituents that we serve, we owe them this. We are here to help them. We're here to elevate them. We are here to show them that they too can be leaders, that those fears or those limiting beliefs that they have can be challenged and can be overcome. We need to see more diversity and inclusion in our organizations, organizations benefit from different perspectives. And if we're only hearing or being led by one narrow perspective, very myopic way of looking at life. Then we are doing a disservice and, and injustice to our employees.
05:21 For me, diversity and inclusion looks like more women in positions of power, more women of color in positions of power, more marginalized people in positions of power. Power's not a bad word here. My friend power is necessary to be in leadership, but so many of these up and coming emerging, aspiring leaders are afraid to call themselves a leader. They can't even see themselves as a leader. And what we get to do today on this call is help position their future self, their future identity of a leader. We get to help them see for themselves that this too is possible for them. Listen, one of the primary characteristics of a powerful leader is that we have foresight. For those of you who don't know what that means. It's just vision. We have vision. We are looking into the future. We, we definitely take the pass into consideration, but we spend most of our time looking forward.
06:29 So help her. If you have identified someone on your team, help her see for herself what the future can hold for her. If she makes this decision, if she works past the fear, if she works on challenging those limiting beliefs here is what is possible for you. And if you're someone who's listening to this and, and, and you are the aspiring or emerging leader, and you are reluctant, you are fearful. You have doubts. I want for you to take this opportunity to look forward. We're not looking back. We're going to look forward. And we do all this work inside masters of leadership. This is what we do. We create masterful leaders, but we start by having a vision for our future, a vision for how powerful our leadership can be the vision of a masterful leader. And what does that even look like? How do I even impact my employees as a masterful leader?
07:26 What can I create in my business? What can I do in my nonprofit business? What can I do as a board member? When I look forward into the future, as a powerful masterful leader, start right there. And if you are a current leader and you think you've gotten past this, take this exercise and look into the future of what the next five years looks like for you as a leader in your current organization or in the industry that you wanna work in, right? This is also helpful for you. I want for you to look forward and I want for you to create that scene in your mind. A lot of people tell me, I can't create pictures in my head, fine. Then list out qualifications, list out qualifiers, characteristics, skills that you want to embody. Maybe there's skills you think you need, right? Just jot them down.
08:25 I want for you to feel your way into it. I want your neurology to get really wrapped up in that vision in your mind, or that documentation that you're creating right now, as you are writing what characteristics you want to embody that you wanna step into. That's what we're doing here. We're stepping into our future identity. So if you are feeling fear and maybe you're in the C-suite and you're going well, shit. I don't know what the next five years looks like. And I am scared. Actually. I don't know what's going to happen. I want to do something else in my career, but I'm here. I'm I may be stuck here. I'm fearing what the future holds fine. And let's do this work together. We step into our future identity. What does that look like for me as a founder and entrepreneur, remember my friends.
09:18 I came from academics, higher education and started my full-time consulting and training business. And I focus on women's leadership, training and development for me as a founder. And in entrepreneur, in case you have forgotten, I came from academics and higher education and moved into entrepreneurship. And I am running the number one leadership training and development company for women and their allies. I am the number one leadership training and development company. People don't know that yet, but I have embodied that future vision of myself. I am living in it currently, every cell in my body, every fiber of my being, every piece of neurology in my brain has accepted this new identity. It's just now up to me to share it with the world and to tell the world we are the number one leadership training and development company for women and their allies. That's all, that's the only work I'm doing right now is telling the world, that's it?
10:31 , that's what I'm doing through my marketing, through my emailing, through my workshop, through my trainings, even my one on one sessions, even inside the masters of leadership, I mean, that's all I'm doing. That's the work I have embodied this future identity. I'm not waiting for someone to bestow it upon me. I'm not waiting to get on some Forbes list. I'm not waiting to get on ink 500 or 5,000 list, cuz they do those lists. I'm not waiting for anybody to tell me that this is who I am. I have enveloped myself into this new identity. So think of this for yourself. What identity do you want to Velop or embody? I want for you to really take note of what that is, what skills do you have? What's the mindset that you have. What's the strategy or the actions that you're taking from that new future self, from that future identity.
11:26 So if you have an employee who has already expressed to you that they are afraid or reluctant, I want for you to take the time and help them do this exercise, right? Take a few minutes and tell them, I believe in you. I see the greatest potential in you. Now, listen, I want to help you. There is a position that is opening soon and I am encouraging you and recommending you for that position. And if they express their concerns, they come up with all their limiting beliefs or some kind of emotion, like fear or they're afraid, or they're embarrassed or whatever's coming up for them. Coach them through that opportunity. Ask 'em. Why do you feel this way? Tell me a little bit about the sphere that's coming up and they can say, well, you know, before you, I had a really crappy leader. I'm actually really afraid to lead.
12:22 What if I fail? What if it's just a big mistake? What if they realize that I'm a fraud? What if they realize I can't do this job? That's what's keeping them from stepping into this new identity. And so what you're going to tell them is leadership is, is mindset, skillset, and strategy. That's it. And you can master these three buckets. These three buckets of leadership, you can master these three things. It's actually quite easy. Listen, my friends leadership is easy. Okay. I know you may be rolling your eyes in me right now, but leadership is easy and I make it easy for you. I make it easy for you to understand that it's only three things, three buckets that consist of your leadership, your mindset, your skillset, and your strategy, that's it. And you can tell your employees that, and you can be honest with them too.
13:15 You can say, you know what? I've had some challenging times. I've had some obstacles on my path. There's some things not only internal, the internal dialogue that I have to, you know, course correct, but also external circumstances that I have to face, right? Cuz there's real systemic issues, problems that are keeping you from leading effectively. That's just, these are just facts, right? But when you have the mindset and the skillset and the strategies, these three things, these three buckets that need to be filled to become masterful. It's easy. And you can tell 'em that there's gonna be challenging times, but I, I guarantee you there's gonna be more times that will be easier and rewarding. Coach them through this opportunity because now I want for you to send them away for about five minutes. I want for you to tell them, go outside for a walk, go sit on a bench or an outside table.
14:14 I want for you to think about what that future could look like for you. If you knew exactly what to do as a leader, if you felt confident as a leader, if you didn't care, what other people thought about you, I want for you to picture that future and come back and report it to me, come back and report it to me. Like you're reporting the news. I want for you to tell me what you saw, who was around you, what you heard, right? I want to know if you were here in this company, maybe you were somewhere else. Maybe you were in a different industry. Maybe you were running your own business, but come back. This is an opportunity for us to really talk about what your future could look like. If you step into this leadership identity, have 'em go off. They come back and then you, my friend, you stay open-minded to them.
15:19 Whatever comes out of their mouths, whatever has come out of their brains. You need to respect what they are sharing with you. And then from there you help them formulate a plan of action. Well, you know that vision you have for yourself, that's very doable. And here's what you can do. Why don't we look at the next simple action to take. What do you think that is? Have them tell you, well, maybe it's enrolling in a leadership development program. Maybe it's going back to art school. Maybe it's going back in getting an MBA or maybe it's leaving this company and starting my own business. So whatever they share with you, you respect it and you're gonna coach them through the next simple action they can take towards that new identity. You understand what we're doing here. You're helping them see the future, the future that they wanna create, that they're afraid to create because of all the limiting beliefs and all of the stereotypical bullshit that we've had to overcome as leaders, you want the best for your employees.
16:34 So show them the future. That's what you're doing. You're showing them what that future can look like. So that's the first thing you're gonna do. Let me reiterate or summarize what we just shared. Number one, you help them look at the future, their future identity. As a leader, number two, you send them off, have them create this image in their minds, have them jot down some notes, get them excited about what their future could be. Have 'em come back, let them share with you. Those ideas, respect what they have to say. And then number three, you're going to coach them into the next simple action that they can take towards that new identity. Those are three very simple things that you leader are going to help them do. If you are listening to this and you're saying, well, that's me, that's me. I'm afraid. Then do these three simple steps for yourself.
17:29 I want for you to sit and look into the future. What could that future look like for you? If you did not feel afraid, if you weren't reluctant, if you didn't care, what anybody thought about you, what does that look like for you? Does it look like running your own business? Being a founder and entrepreneur like me? Does it look like you going and getting a PhD and becoming a full time tenured professor somewhere, although tenured, uh, we don't want that anymore. but you're using your future to guide your present time, your present tense you're using those desires. Those wants that future longing that you have, you're using that to create your present moment. So you're gonna spend some time doing that for yourself, write it down or, you know, speak it into a voice memo. If you have to. And then I want for you to ask yourself, what's the next simple action step I can take.
18:33 Is it enrolling in that PhD program I've been looking at or is it actually looking for a plan of action to leave my current organization and start my own business? What could be so simple right now? One simple step. So my friend, I want for you either, you're the leader and you, I, I, you have identified someone that you wanna help through this process, go do it. Or you are that person who is feeling the reluctance because you're afraid because you're afraid of what people are gonna think about you, right? You fear being looked at as a different person, right? I know that was something that I feared when I got my PhD. Let me tell you something. Not only did I have to go through the PTSD of it, right? The actual trauma that came from being so exposed and so vulnerable and no one mistreated me in that program, but let me be very clear.
19:29 This was all self-induced. This was all the internal landscape. I wasn't mindfully emotionally prepared skills. Get outta here. I mean, really I could have run that whole doctoral program. right. My actions and behaviors. Absolutely. But wow. Did I have such an internal struggle identifying and, and really stepping into this, this PhD person, this person who had a great deal of mastery and had a stamp of approval by a diploma on the wall, showing her greatness. I had so much trouble with that. So much trouble identifying as such. So I had a lot of PTSD from that. It was, it was pretty traumatic, pretty traumatic. I have to admit I'm being vulnerable here, but I've worked through that. I've had to work through that so that I can serve my people. So I can answer this calling to lead and to serve, to become a masterful leader and really, truly embrace this new identity.
20:30 I had to do that for myself. So I know what it feels like to be afraid. I know what it feels like to be fearful of what people think about you. I was afraid of looking like I was too good for my culture. What? A Mexican with a PhD. Oh, you're just too good for us, honey. I mean, I had people actually tell me these things. Oh, you think you're far better now? Huh? Cuz you left lado and now you have this PhD. No honey, I am humbled, but I'm not gonna let that be an excuse to keep my light from shining. So bright. No, no, not at all. My friend, there are so many interesting things that the brain will do. The brain's gonna brain. So it's gonna present to you all this hogwash, all this rubbish, all this bullshit. And it is up to us to manage our mindset and our self-awareness. And as a leader, you are also obligated to do this with and for your employees. All right, my friend, thank you for taking the time today for yourself and for your growth and development. You are here to answer a great calling. This is a privilege to call yourself a leader and we are here to help others on their path to leadership. So it's time to help yourself so that you can help another. All right, take good care of yourself. Have a fantastic week. And I'm going to catch you on the next show. Take care.
22:03 Hey
22:04 Leader, do you want weekly leadership tips, coaching and training straight to your email inbox? Yeah, I thought so. Head over to Dr. Denise simpson.com/leadership. Again, that's Dr. Denise simpson.com/leadership. Just submit your name and your email address and we'll get started right away. I look forward to serving you inside your email inbox. See you soon.
